Coming “Home”

“You can’t go home again.”

Never has that statement been more true for me than this past 16 months. It has been about that long since our family left Nigeria for the last time and settled indefinitely in Orlando, Florida, USA.

Christie has lived in Central Florida most of her life; I lived here for three years before we moved to Nigeria in 2009. We had communities and networks of friends, family and colleagues that we knew well and that knew us. We had our favorite haunts–those stores and restaurants that we gravitated to. Orlando was our home (or at least one of our homes) and when we said farewell to our life in Jos, Nigeria, we were coming home.

Or so we thought.


Our “home” since February 2014.

Many of our friends in Orlando had moved. All had, to some degree, moved on with their lives (not that we would have expected anything less). Our haunts had closed or were under new management. Colleagues had changed roles. Even the look of my commute from the downtown area (where we lived before and now) to the Wycliffe office had changed dramatically.

We, too, had changed. Five years living in west Africa has a way of re-shaping your worldview. Our mannerisms and diction were different. The kids did odd things (like take power outages in stride as if nothing happened). I was a different leader and manager, and in a different role with Wycliffe, than when we left five years prior.

While there was some semblance of familiarity in our life, it certainly didn’t feel like home!

We all struggled with missing our community in Nigeria. This was particularly hard for Christie and the kids, probably mostly because I’ve had the benefit of going in to the office every day where I am surrounded by people who have made the same transition we’re facing. Skype calls and visits with our friends in Nigeria have been nice but didn’t quite cut it when it came to being a part of each others’ lives, day in and day out. We haven’t yet found any replacement for that community–and we may never find it again–and we are grieving as a result.

A reunion with two other

A reunion with two other “Nigerian” families earlier this year.

There are reasons why counselors are desperately needed on the mission field. It’s not just because of the PTSD, cross-cultural issues and interpersonal challenges that are so common. It’s also because of the transitions we face and the need to balance having multiple homes. It’s a psychological struggle and one that we (both Christie and I, plus the kids) now face every day.

Would you pray with us? Pray that God would help us to reflect upon and remember our time in Nigeria, while helping us find the community He has for us here in Orlando. Pray that He would help our kids understand the new reality we are in, while not losing their life lessons and cross-cultural experiences from our time in Jos. Pray that we would continue to have sweet reunions with friends from our Nigeria life!

Thank you for praying!

One Year

It’s hard to believe it’s been one year since I got a phone call that my spiritual mentor, my second mom, my best friend’s mom was gone.  Some of you have heard me talk about her (and talk about her and talk about her….  ;)  ) and probably only know her as “Mrs. Nilsa,” but oh, what an amazing woman of God she was.  Even in the midst of fighting cancer, she had such strength, courage, conviction and faith.  I remember a conversation with her not long before she passed away when I was really struggling with the idea of pain and suffering in general, but also with her cancer.  She looked so peaceful as she told me that she wasn’t angry, she wasn’t struggling as much as I thought she should be because “I know my God, and I know His character and who He is.”


Truth be told, I still struggle with it, but often when I think of Mrs. Nilsa and the dignity and faith with which she walked through her journey, I am humbled and moved out of my own self.  This is just one of many gifts Mrs. Nilsa gave me, one of many legacies she left and things she taught me.


To list them all would be impossible, but here are a few….

  • She taught me grace.  She reminded me time and time again – not merely with her words but with the grace she poured out on me and the kids – to give the kids more grace than I often do.  She looked at them with such kindness and love, and they felt that.  They knew they were loved.  And she always had dessert and chocolate to offer them, so that didn’t hurt.  ;)

100_3318 100_3331

  • She was a prayer warrior.  Even when some things got too tiring for her to do, she never. stopped. praying.  In fact, she told me once that most of her time was spent reading and praying.  How I long to be such a faith filled prayer warrior!
  • She loved well.  She loved her family and her friends, and oh how she loved her God!  She was one of those people that made you think you were her favorite person in the world – only to find out that everyone else thought that too!  She genuinely cared about you and often would turn the conversation to you even when you tried to make it about her!
Mrs. Nilsa was a tricker!  ;)  That wheelchair was supposed to be for her, but when we turned around she was popping Jovelle in it and pushing her around!

Mrs. Nilsa was a tricker! ;) That wheelchair was supposed to be for her at Disney, but when we turned around she was popping Jovelle in it and pushing her around!

When we were in Nigeria, I read something about personalizing Scriptures for people, and so I mailed Mrs. Nilsa a personalization of Proverbs 31, which I had the privilege of also sharing at her memorial service.

Proverbs 31: The Remix, for Mrs. Nilsa

A woman of noble character, who can find?

She is worth far more than diamonds

or even chocolate chips in Nigeria.

Marty has full confidence in her

and lacks nothing in value.

She brings him good, not harm,

all the days of her life.

She works with eager hands.

She is like the Publix semi-trucks,

bringing her food from afar –

or at least sending it afar

in packages stuffed with goodies,

sweet treats from home for the blessed receivers.

She gets up while it is still night

(night owl that she is!);

she provides food for her family –

delicious variety, ethnic experiments,

all cooked with love and sacrifice –

and portions for her friends

and the occasional church youth group.

She considers before she buys

to make sure she gets the best deal –

and her garage is stocked to prove it.

She sets about her work vigorously;

even when her arms are not strong for her tasks,

she somehow leans on Him

and perseveres….

But she is also strong enough now to admit

when she can’t do it alone.

She accepts help graciously

and shows her gratitude with an offering

that is worth far more than the money she saves:

on bended knee, her prayers

sweet smelling incense before her Heavenly King.

Her lamp does not go out at night,

for it is often in the darkness and solitude

that she cries out:

prayers of gratitude, thanksgiving, praise,

salvation, healing, forgiveness, intercession….

In her hand she holds her Bible

and grasps it with her heart, too.

She opens her arms – and her home – to the lonely,

the misunderstood, the teenagers, the lost,

the ones that society calls “misfits,”

the patients with whom she shares a waiting room,

the high school girl looking for answers

(now a mom still looking for answers)

and finding them in the dark of night

in the patient responses and questions

of the mom of a friend

(now a friend herself)

who was willing to listen and point her to

the One True Answer….

She extends her hands to them all….

When it is sweltering outside

she has no fear for her household,

for the AC is set to freezing.

Too freezing.   ;)

She is clothed in fine linen and purple

(or at least she was before she told the Red Hat Ladies

exactly where her priorities are).

Her husband is respected at the church and at work,

where he takes his seat among the elders of the (Disney)land.

She is clothed with strength and dignity,

even when she might wonder if sickness

has taken her dignity away.

(It has not.)

She can laugh at the days to come,

even when the days are uncertain,

and her laugh can make you laugh, too.

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue,

even when the phone connection

isn’t too clear from overseas.

She offers advice – prayerful, thoughtful advice –

when asked and mentors those blessed enough to be in her life.

She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness

(In fact, she eats hardly any bread or carbs these days –

though she likes them – a testament to her willpower.)

Tammy and Sharli, her children –

and her children’s friends! –

rise and call her blessed.

Marty also, and he praises her:

“Many women do noble things, but you, Nilsa, surpass them all.”

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting –

though her beauty doesn’t seem to fade

because it comes from a joy deep within –

but Mrs. Nilsa, who fears the Lord, is to be praised.

Honor her for all that her hands have done,

and let her works,

the meals she has cooked,

the packages she has mailed,

the friends she has made,

the family she has raised,

the teenagers to whom she has listened,

the people she has brought before the throne,

bring her praise at the city gate.

100_3617 100_3606

My best friend wrote the other day that “grief is a circular staircase.”  There are days when things feel okay, and there are days when the loss of my dear mentor and friend – from whom I still had so much to learn and am even still learning from in many ways – is just as raw as when it first happened.  And there are days, truth be told, when I play this game where I pretend that we’re still in Nigeria and it’s just a little hard to stay in contact what with the time difference and bad internet so of course things have been silent for a while.

Enjoying one of her favorites, Dole Pineapple Whip, at Disney

Enjoying one of her favorites, Dole Pineapple Whip, at Disney

The pain of losing someone you love just sort of lingers beneath the surface, though, even when it’s not boldly rearing its ugly head.

But there are also those sweet, precious memories, countless memories… of trips to Disney… talking until 3 am… the time when the kids ran around catching dead leaves that whirled around on a blustery day, saying they were for Mrs. Nilsa – who accepted them with a big smile on her face as if they had brought her a bouquet of roses and proclaimed, though it was March, “You brought fall inside to me!  Fall is my favorite season!” – so that to this day they associate fall with her… her voice when she would get angry or frustrated and silently exclaim, “Oh hush puppies!”

And there is the Hope of things to come, too.  I am eternally grateful for the time that Mrs. Nilsa took to pour the Truth of God into me because I know that one day I will join her in eternity, a place where there is no more sadness or sickness or pain or tears, and together we will praise our God.


Now He is Six

When I was one,
I had just begun.

Judah 018100_3780When I was two,
I was nearly new.

100_0632When I was three,
I was hardly me.

100_5458When I was four,
I was not much more.

100_7716When I was five,
I was just alive.

100_9277100_9367But now I am six,
I’m as clever as clever.

IMG_0407So I think I’ll be six
now for ever and ever.

by A. A. Milne

…And then he was six.

So soon.

And yet already he can’t wait to be seven. I wonder sometimes, is it just the birthday excitement he wants? If we gave him presents every day, would he want to slow down this fastness then?

I tell him to enjoy being the age he is, that kids get to spend much of their day playing and have far less to worry about, even if sometimes they do get time outs and often get decisions made for them instead of being the one to decide whether to have peas or carrots for dinner (or darn it, no vegetables, just cookies this time, thank you very much) or what time to go to bed… but still.  Still, he longs for the next age and the next and the next, while I long to hold on to each year a little longer.

Maybe Chris and I just make this grown up, parenting thing look so easy.  Yeah, that must be it.  (Cough cough.)

Well, no matter – happy birthday to our fast growing boy!  This boy delights us, tries us, stretches us and amazes us daily.  He is smart and silly, cautious and adventurous, full of questions that challenge us and make us think, and he has an insatiable desire to learn…. I love that he loves playing soccer and baseball and riding bikes as much as he loves reading and school.  (In fact, one of the things he wanted to do for his birthday today – despite being sick and even though it was his birthday and he could choose anything he wanted – was “have school.”)  We pray that as each day passes he will continue to grow in the fear and knowledge of the Lord and in favor with God and man.  Happy birthday, dear Judah!

Your Prayers Help!

Do you ever feel like you are just spinning your wheels when praying?  I’ve been praying for a group in South America for almost 10 years that does not have the Bible in their own language–and there has not been much progress during that time.

Regardless, I know that God is at work.  Check out this new video from Wycliffe about how prayer has specifically impacted language groups around the world:

Interactive Bible Translation Open House in Orlando

The Wycliffe Discovery Center, located in the Wycliffe USA offices in southeast Orlando, is an interactive, kid-friendly center to learn about the Bible and the worldwide Bible translation movement.  We highly recommend visiting if you have never been before!  For those in the Orlando area, we are looking forward to hosting you at the Discovery Center next Saturday, September 20, for an interactive open house!  Following is a brief outline of what our morning should look like:

  • 9:45 a.m. — Arrive at the Wycliffe Discovery Center, located at 11221 John Wycliffe Boulevard, Orlando, 32832  We will meet you in the lobby.
  • 10-10:30 a.m. — Tour of the Discovery Center with a Wycliffe staff person
  • 10:30-11:30 a.m. — Interactive presentation and question/answer time with Chris and Christie (Light refreshments will be served.)
  • 11:30 a.m.-12 noon — Free time to explore more in the Discovery Center or visit with us

Please RSVP (It’s fine to e-mail or text.) by Friday, September 19 so that we know how to plan.  There is normally an $8 charge for adult admission, but as our guests there will be no charge to you.  Feel free to join for all or part of the morning.  Families and children are welcome and encouraged to attend.  We look forward to seeing you and exploring with you!

One new feature in the Discovery Center is the ability to explore clothing from different cultures around the world–come join the fun!